A Clear Midnight
by sinemoras09
Summary: The beginnings of a relationship [ Petra/Levi; AU; pwp, character death; spoilers for episode 22]


_Author's note: warning for sex and character death. Spoilers for episode 22._

* * *

.

She woke up and stretched a hand out to the side of the bed where Levi was sleeping, opening her eyes when she realized the sheets were cool, Levi having left the bed a while ago.

"Heichou?" Petra said, and she saw Levi sitting at the corner of the bed. He was dressed in civilian clothes. He wasn't looking at her.

"You're awake," he said. She could see the rounded muscle of his shoulders under the fabric of his shirt. "Are you still sore?" he asked.

"Not really," Petra said. Levi nodded.

"Good," Levi said. Petra looked awkwardly down at her hands.

They had slept together the night before; at the time, there was none of the confusion and the awkwardness that Petra was feeling now, and for a panicked half-second she wondered if the captain had woken up and regretted it. She opened her mouth, about to speak, when Levi interrupted her thoughts.

"I was doing some thinking," Levi said, and the tone of his voice made her heart sink. "I was thinking that if this was a mistake, I'm willing to forget about it. These things happen all the time. If you are regretting it, I won't mention it to anyone else. It may as well be as if it never happened. I promise you, you have my word on this," Levi said, and Petra felt her eyes well up. She blinked fast, hugging the bedsheet around her waist.

"But if this wasn't a mistake," Levi said, and Petra's head snapped up to see him looking at her. "If this wasn't a mistake, and you wish to continue the relationship, we need to disclose it to Commander Erwin. It was a breach of conduct, after all."

Petra glanced back at him. He was watching her, dark eyes probing hers, silently, and from the tension in his neck and shoulders he seemed to be bracing himself for a negative answer.

Relief. It washed over her like a wave, and she began to cry, fat, greasy tears rolling down the sides of her face.

"Oi," Levi said. He was alarmed. He got up and sat next to her, pulling her close. "I told you, if it was a mistake I'm willing to ignore it-"

"No," Petra said. She cried into his shirt. "No, no...Heichou...I'm just so happy!"

She buried her face into his neck, practically wiping her wet, disgusting face and her runny nose on his shirt. She felt his hand on her head, soothingly.

"Idiot," Levi said. He was speaking into her hair. "That isn't something to cry about."

"I'm getting your shirt all messy."

"I know," Levi said. He rubbed her back and handed her a handkerchief, which she used to blow her nose, loudly.

"You're sure you don't think we're making a mistake?" Petra said. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were red. "Heichou?"

"Levi," Levi said. He wiped back her tears with his thumb, frowning. "You wiped your nose all over my shirt. At least do me the courtesy of calling me by my first name."

"I-" Petra hesitated, suddenly unsure.

Levi sighed, as if talking to a very slow, very stupid child. "I like you. But I'm also your superior officer. I want to be sure I'm not taking advantage of you."

Petra shook her head. "You're not," she said. Levi nodded, gravely.

He let her sniffle and press against him miserably, leaning against until she was finally able to calm herself, hiccuping a little. It was only then that Levi said, "You're still naked," and Petra realized, in the confusion and angst and emotional rollercoaster of it all, she had let the bedsheet drop around her waist.

"Oh!" Petra said, and gathered the bedsheet up again. Levi smirked.

"A little too late for that," Levi said, and he stood. "Get dressed. We should probably tell Commander Erwin sooner rather than later."

"O-okay."

"And stop crying," Levi said. "This is a good thing."

"I know."

"Damn it," Levi said, and he sat back down again, pulling a weepy, happy Petra back onto his shoulder.

xXx

.

The night before started out innocently enough.

They were stationed near the mountains on the northernmost post of the wall; Petra didn't have any family or friends to visit, so while the rest of her squad left for the village center, she was left alone with a mountain of paperwork, spending her leave going over mission objectives and budget reports. Levi was alone, too, but then again Levi very rarely left his office when everyone else was on leave, holing up to do the months of paperwork he let accumulate on his desk.

"You're asking me to dinner?" Levi said. He sounded suspicious and slightly annoyed as Petra nodded, pressing her folders against her chest. "...Why?"

"Because everyone else has family and we're the only ones left, and it's sad and lonely and I don't want to go into town by myself."

He frowned and rubbed the back of his neck, glancing at the clock behind him. "Fine," he said. "But only because dinner is the quickest way to get you off my back."

"There's also a local festival in the town square," Petra said. "It looks like a lot of fun."

"What are you, some kind of kid?" Levi said. He scowled. "I hate kids," Levi said. Petra grinned and followed him out the door.

xXx

.

Commander Erwin said nothing while Levi laid out the dry and clinical details: he and Petra Ral began engaging in a physical, intimate relationship, which started last night and which they intended to continue.

"Really?" Commander Erwin said. Petra glanced at Levi, whose expression didn't change. Erwin rubbed his neck and frowned.

"Well I appreciate you disclosing this to me. You do realize Petra will have to be reassigned, correct?"

"Reassigned?" Petra glanced back at Levi, then back at Erwin. "Sir, if I may, I don't think our relationship will have any impact on my service to the Survey Corps-"

"That may be true, but your relationship will most definitely impact Captain Levi's ability to command you." Erwin leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. "I'm not kicking you out of the corps, soldier," Erwin said. "Breathe. It will be okay."

Petra didn't realize how tense her muscles were until that moment, and she sagged, visibly. "Commander?"

"Hanji Zoe is in need of a good lieutenant," Erwin said. "Her squad suffered a few casualties during the last mission. I'm sure she would be glad to have someone as capable as you."

"Thank you, Commander Erwin," Petra said. Erwin shook his head.

"Don't thank me," Erwin said. "Our job is precarious as it is. Ordinarily we wouldn't turn a blind eye, but...well. I don't think I have to explain myself."

"Yes, Commander Erwin."

"Now, if you'll excuse us, Lieutenant," Erwin said, and rose. "I'd like to speak to Captain Levi alone."

"Yes, Commander."

And Petra left, trying to ignore the hard knot that formed at the back of her throat.

xXx

.

The tavern was loud and dirty and noisy, and its patrons were either sloppy drunk or picking bar fights across the room. Levi was in his civilian clothes while Petra was feeling decidedly out of place in a pale blue dress and heels, clutching her purse and scanning the chaos in front of them.

"Nice place," Levi said. "Looks like shit. This was a great idea, lieutenant."

"I didn't know it would be like this," Petra said, as she followed him to the bar.

They ordered drinks, Levi fitting in with the rest of the bar crowd while Petra perched awkwardly on the stool, not sure what to do with her hands or her pocketbook when the bartender set her drink in front of her.

After an awkward silence (during which another bar fight broke out, someone shouted to go fuck themselves, and someone got thrown out the room), Levi got up to use the bathroom, leaving Petra alone at the bar. She stirred her drink, wondering why the hell she decided to come here, when another man came up to her, leaning by the bar.

"Well, well, well. Look at this pretty little thing right here. What's a pretty little girl doing all by herself?"

"I'm not by myself, I'm with him," Petra said, and she motioned toward Levi, who was walking toward them. The man leered.

"Eh? That shrimp over there?" The man laughed. "Honey that shrimp probably has a dick the size of a pencil tip, and you look like you need a guy who knows how to take care of a lady." And the man leaned closer, his breath hot against her ear.

"I can eat pussy like you wouldn't believe," the man said. "So what do you say, huh?"

And the man suddenly cried out, pitching backwards; Levi had yanked the man off his barsool, brutally twisting his arm.

"Oi," Levi said. "The fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Heichou, it's okay! It wasn't anything serious, I swear-"

The man lunged, but Levi caught him, using leverage to spin his arm and pivot him on the ground. Levi's eyes narrowed.

"Apologize to her," Levi said.

"Fuck you," the man said, and he screamed, Levi wrenching his arm back.

"I said," Levi said, and he applied just enough pressure to make it hurt, just short of dislocating his shoulder, "_apologize._"

"Heichou!" Petra said, and Levi let go, the man dropping to his knees.

Petra stared at them, horrified. Levi was looking down at the man, eyes narrowed, while the man crawled on the ground, wheezing and gripping his shoulder.

"Joke's on you," the man wheezed. "I'm not the one with the tiny dick."

"Are you done?" Levi said. Petra gripped his arm.

"Heichou, we should go," Petra said. Levi glanced at the man one more time, who was still clutching his arm.

"Fine," Levi said. He tossed a few bills on the bar as Petra stood up, clutching her purse and careful to avoid stepping on the man writhing on the floor.

xXx

.

When she broke the news to the rest of her squad, they all gaped at her, mouths open and eyes wide with shock.

"Eh?!" Gunther and Auruo and Erd said. "What do you mean, you're dating Heichou?!"

"It's nothing," Petra said. She smiled, eyes making rueful half-moons and rubbing her neck, embarrassed. "We started seeing each other a couple days ago."

"What was it like?" Gunther asked. The other men leaned forward.

"Did he ask you?"

"You didn't sleep with him, right?"

"I'm not answering that!" Petra said, and Auruo made a noise, something half groaned in agony.

"Our Petra is growing up!" Auruo wailed, and Gunther and Erd clung together, nodding.

"You guys are so stupid," Petra said, but she was smiling, ridiculously pleased.

It was odd, not going with her squad, but she reminded herself that Captain Hanji was her squad leader now, and though she would miss the guys she would still see them from time to time. "But what about the mission?" Gunther said. Petra cocked her head.

"What mission?" Petra said.

"You heard about the Titan kid. Eren whats-his-face. We're supposed to guard him," Gunther said. Petra shrugged.

"Well I guess you guys'll just guard him without me," Petra said. "And anyway, I'll be with Captain Hanji, if the boy's a titan, she'll probably play a role with him, too."

"When are you going to tell your father?" Erd asked, and Petra smiled, shrugging a little.

"After the mission," Petra said. "When we get back Levi is supposed to meet with him. I'm really excited," Petra said.

"Oi," Levi said, and the three men snapped to attention. "What are you idiots think doing?"

"Nothing, Levi-heichou!"

"We were just saying goodbye, Levi-heichou!"

"Good," Levi said, and his eyes briefly met Petra's.

"There's a mission briefing in five. Apparently the titan kid is going to trial."

xXx

.

The streets were dark and oddly quiet, a stark contrast to the noise of the bar. "Heichou," Petra said, and she glanced back at him, fully regretting the scene at the bar and her inability to stand up for herself.

"I'm sorry I dragged you out," Petra said, finally. "I thought it'd be a nice night. I didn't mean to cause you so much trouble."

"It's fine," Levi said. "I wouldn't be much of a man if I let that go."

They walked a few more paces until Petra swallowed, tightening her grip around her purse.

"I don't think you're tiny," Petra said. Levi stopped and stared at her. "I mean..." She reddened. "I just meant what that guy said. I don't know if it bothered you. I mean...it doesn't really matter to me. Not that you care what someone like me thinks," Petra added, hastily. "But...for what it's worth...I think your size is an asset. Like with 3D maneuver gear, or fighting titans...and...and I think that you're very handsome," she said, because she was an idiot and she couldn't stop herself. Petra flushed again, suddenly wishing she didn't have all those drinks, and Levi just stared at her as if she had two heads.

"I like you," Petra said. _Shit._ "I really, really like you." _ Shit shit shit._ "And...and I wouldn't care if you're really small." She wished she could just shut her goddamn stupid mouth.

Levi smirked. "I'm not small," Levi said, and Petra forgot her momentary embarrassment to tilt her head at him, confused.

"Don't worry about it," Levi said, and he sauntered forward.

There was a warm silence between them, comfortable and familiar, and Petra was relieved that he seemed to ignore her ham-fisted confession. Around them, the streetlights cast a white haze against the inky darkness, and as they walked past she could see their shadows rising against the wall.

There was a couple walking opposite them, a man and a woman clutching the man's arm. She looked happy and they were chatting quietly, and occasionally she would laugh and lean her head against the man's shoulder. It made Petra feel the same old ache, wishing silently she were braver or at the very least more clear, but also realizing that Levi probably had no interest in her, considering what she had said to him just a few moments earlier.

"Petra," Levi said, and Petra stopped, not looking at him. "What's wrong?"

"I-" Petra started. "I was just thinking what it'd be like to kiss you," and her hand flew to her mouth when she realized she actually spoke the words out loud.

Levi blinked - she had never seen him surprised before - before taking a moment to compose himself. "What would you do if I let you?" he asked.

"I...I don't know," Petra said. Fuck.

"You can, if you want."

"H-heichou?"

Levi glared.

She wasn't sure what he was thinking - he usually was either annoyed or bored or pissed or some sort of combination of all three - but she thought maybe she sensed a little bit of trepidation in him too, and it was enough to bolster her courage, somewhat. Slowly, she stepped closer and pressed a chaste kiss on the side of his lip, face red and blushing, furiously. She pulled back quickly, not looking at him.

"Was that your first kiss?" Levi asked. He sounded curious. Petra nodded, embarrassed.

And then he cupped her face. Petra looked up, startled.

His lips were soft. Something that took her by surprise. His lips were soft and they parted a little when she kissed him, caught off guard by the sudden gentle touch of his hand on her cheek and the soft, careful probing by the tip of his tongue.

"Better," Levi said. Petra flushed again.

They walked back to his quarters. He unlocked the door and didn't bother turning on the lights when they walked into his room, carefully sitting on the bed. They faced each other and he leaned forward and kissed her again, one soft hand gently touching her knee.

"Heichou," she said, and Levi pulled back, slightly. "Heichou. I never...I've never done this before." Levi nodded, then sat back upright, making a move to switch on a light.

"Wait," Petra said, and Levi turned. "I want to," Petra said. "I just...I'm not sure what I'm doing."

"You're okay with this?" Levi said. "Because once it's over you can't take it back."

"I know," Petra said. She stared at her hands.

The room was dark, but in the grayscale of night Petra could make out the few shapes in Levi's room: his desk, the bookshelf. The neat and orderly stacks of paperwork he had placed by the lamp on the nightstand. Reading before bed, apparently. Quietly, she shrugged off the thin knit sweater covering her shoulders, Levi watching silently as she unzipped the back of her dress and tugged it down her waist. She crossed her arms, hiding her bra.

"Heichou," she said. "Heichou, if you don't say something, I'm going to get really embarrassed."

It seemed to be enough. He took it as a cue to kiss her on the forehead before unbuttoning the front of his shirt.

For a moment, there's nothing but awkward, untouching silence, Petra pulling off the rest of her dress while Levi folded his shirt and set it on the nightstand. He still had his pants on and Petra was still wearing her underwear, and for a nervous millisecond she wondered when she should take that off too. "Heichou?" she said. Levi scowled.

"Don't call me that," Levi said. They scooted onto the bed, Petra lying on her back and Levi hovering just above her. "Call me by my first name, if you say anything."

"Levi...heichou. I'm sorry! It's a habit," Petra said. She felt the heat rush up to her face and in her embarrassment, covered her face with her hands. Another moment passed, and she realized Levi was staring down at the tops of her breasts, which seemed to strain out from the cups of her bra.

She wondered if he was as embarrassed as she was in this moment. In her head, Captain Levi was never anything but cool, calm, and composed, maybe sometimes a little bit bored or annoyed or irritated by the things around him, but never caught off guard, never unsure. But he seemed to hesitate again, tentatively brushing the top of her shoulder with his hand, just barely grazing the bra strap by her collarbone.

Before she joined Levi's squad, Petra was used to playing the brave one. Even though she was unranked and not as skilled or seasoned as her peers, she would be the first to draw her swords and swing into combat, rallying the others to follow her lead. It's what caught Levi's attention in the first place, securing her spot in his squad and a reputation as one of the elite among the elite; she drew from that courage now, feeling the same battle-readiness as she reached out a hand and planted it firmly on Levi's bicep, one leg curling upward and leaning against his waist. "Heichou," Petra said.

And she kissed him. It wasn't very good, her kiss was sloppy and just a little too wet, but it seemed to calm him, and soon enough he was letting his weight rest on her body, leaning on his elbows and kissing the side of her neck. Her face flushed. She panted softly, dimly aware of how he reached between their bodies and readjusted himself, still wearing his pants and grinding down onto her core.

Petra gasped. Her eyes flew open and she looked up at him, shocked at how good it felt. For a moment, neither one of them moved, not until Levi stroked her cheek with his thumb and ground his hips down on her again, the noticeable hardness grinding down on her clit through the fabric of her underwear.

He kept kissing her. One deep kiss, hand sliding behind her back and undoing the clasp of her bra. Another kiss, this time one hot mouth trailing down her neck and kissing the line of her collar bone. Her breathing was heavy and the pressure of his shaft on her clit made her dizzy with sensation, just barely aware of him gently moving her bra and tracing the tip of her nipple with his tongue.

"Am I doing okay?" Petra said. Her eyes cracked open, trying to focus on him. "Do you want me to do anything?"

"It's fine." He spoke quietly, one hand cupping her breast, the other one rolling her nipple. "What about you?"

"Eh?"

"Do you like this?" he asked, and he kissed the corner of her jaw, making her lose her train of thought, temporarily. She felt his hand skimming the waistband of her panties, before sliding beneath the fabric, stroking her gently. "Like this?" he said. Petra sighed, then nodded, and he kissed her again, one hand stroking her with short, firm strokes.

A few moments passed. She moaned and shifted, trying to maneuver herself to the right angle, the right pressure, until finally, she took her hand and placed it on top of his, showing him. "Like that?" he said. She nodded.

"Yeah. Like that."

"Faster?"

"No, it's good like this." They spoke quietly, the words broken by her soft moans.

He was stroking her the way she stroked herself, and soon she was breathing deeper, concentrating on the sensation. Pleasure began to build, the tension rising and about to crest her peak, when suddenly he stopped, moving his hand and making her gasp in frustration. "Wait, I was about to-"

But he was pulling off her underwear, positioning himself between her legs and staring down at her, intently.

His mouth on her clit, and it was all over. Petra gasped and cried out at the sudden sensation, the feeling more intense than her fingers ever could give her.

Her orgasm was harsh and intense, hips jerking involuntarily as the spikes of pleasure crowded out everything around her, until she realized she was crying out loud enough for any passers-by his quarters could hear, until she sank back on the bed, panting. Dimly, she was aware of Levi delicately wiping the side of his mouth and arranging himself beside her, taking care to first wipe his hand.

Her heart, which was thundering in her ears, started to calm down to a more manageable clip, and she could hear the soft metallic clink of him undoing his belt-buckle.

The only time she had seen a naked man, it was when she accidentally walked in on Gunther and Erd in the co-ed locker room, getting an eyeful of Erd's backside and and catching a glimpse the dense fleshy mass between Gunther's legs. Gunther yelped and grapped a towel and Erd had backed up against the wall, and Petra just reddened and ran past them, rushing to the women's side and wishing she didn't lift her head to look.

This time it was different, and when he carefully folded his pants she could see just how hard he was, stiff and leaking. In the books she's read, trashy romance novels she'd squirreled away in her girlhood, they'd always described a man's erection as a velvety member, and as she shyly touched him, the pads of her fingers gently curling around him, she knew that those descriptions were just so _right_.

It was on impulse that she suddenly dipped forward, taking the head of his cock into her mouth and tasting the slippery liquid that had beaded up at his tip. Slowly she bobbed her head, swallowing and sucking, and she felt his hand rest gently on the back of her head. The muscles of his abdomen tightened, and just when she could feel his cock grow harder in her mouth that he gently pushed her head back, pulling himself out and panting, softly.

"I was about to come," he explained, and Petra smiled, resting her head against his shoulder.

He leaned her backwards on the bed, positioning himself between her legs and the head of his cock at her entrance. She felt herself stretch uncomfortably as he entered her slowly, until pretty soon he was all the way inside her, face pressed against her shoulder and shaking with the effort not to move too soon.

A few moments passed until the tension in her middle relaxed and she felt herself growing used to his girth and length, and it wasn't until she gave a short nod that he moved experimentally inside her, one slow thrust upwards, making her gasp.

"Are you okay?" he said.

"Yeah," she said. He moved again and she moaned into his neck, the momentary discomfort starting to feel good, and soon she felt herself rocking her hips too, grinding upwards and pressing against him.

There was a clock on the wall which ticked the seconds softly, and there was no sound except their soft pants and the occasional creak of the bed. The sheets rustled, and she felt him bury his face into the crook of her neck, moving slowly and taking care not to hurt her.

Maybe it was the way their bodies were pressing, or the slow, determined thrusts or how his pelvis seemed to grind at just the right angle against hers, but inexplicably she felt herself building toward climax again, straining the muscles of her hips and thighs upwards against him until his thrusts grew harder and more erratic, one hand gripping the sheets by her head and scrambling for purchase. He came suddenly, gasping hard and pulsing inside her, and it was that pulsing sensation that sent her over the edge, body shaking and jerking in response, a series of hard contractions that made her gasp and cling to him, seeing stars.

He all but collapsed on top of her, breathing hard and nudging his face into the curve of her neck, and Petra could feel his heart beating hard beneath his ribcage. They stayed like that a moment, breathing in tandem as she rested a hand against the back of his head, feeling tired but happy, and maybe even a little bit pleased with herself. Soon Levi's breathing evened, and he shifted his weight to look at her, opening his eyes.

"You okay?" he asked. Petra smiled and bit her lip, nodding.

"It felt good." She met him with her eyes.

They showered and cleaned themselves, and Petra flushed when she saw the large wet spot on the center of the bed, and she half-expected Levi to give her a reprimand, except he didn't seem to notice, climbing into the bedsheets and pulling her against him. He kissed her and she fell asleep on top of him, nestled in his arms.

xXx

.

No one anticipated the Female Titan, and when the mission went to shit Petra stood by with the other soldiers in the trees, heart in her throat as she saw Levi and the rest of her old squad ride past; her eyes followed him as he galloped forward, and for a brief moment their eyes met. Then he whipped his reigns and rode faster forward, and they and the wagons disappeared behind the dense foliage, the sounds of hoofbeats fading in the dark.

When it was over, she and the other soldiers began to hunt for bodies; there were dead soldiers in the fields and dead soldiers just along the river, and it wasn't until Petra made her way back into the forest that she saw it: Erd and Gunther and Auruo, bodies broken and snapped in half, dried old blood at the corners of their mouths.

"Petra," Hanji said, but Petra pushed forward, past where Eren was nursing his wounds and Mikasa was a shaken, babbling mess. "Petra, don't-"

But it was too late, and before Hanji could stop her she saw it: soldiers wrapping canvas around Levi's body, tying his feet and neck with rope and loading him onto the cart.

"He engaged the Female Titan," Hanji said, and Petra felt her gut bottom out, because Captain was the fastest and the strongest, because it wasn't right and he wasn't supposed to die, and she felt Hanji press her hand against her shoulder and explain, quietly. "Ackerman and Eren would have both gotten killed. He jumped in and got them out of the way."

Petra didn't say anything. Slowly she let her hands trace a dull line on top of the rough canvas, feeling the bumps and curves of what was left of Levi's body, before she turned, pushing away from Hanji and the others and silently, painfully, starting to cry.

xXx

.

There was less than a month before they would take Eren outside the wall, and Levi paced in front of her, grilling her, constantly. "You won't be at the center," Levi said, and Petra rolled her eyes and told him _yes_, she knew she'd be in the first column and that she's probably going to be one of the first people to come into contact with the titans, and _no_, she wasn't afraid she'd get eaten or fall off her horse or need Levi to protect her. "You won't be with us," Levi said again. "The rest of your outfit is incompetent. I don't want you to die because of their lack of skill."

"I'll be _fine_," Petra said, but Levi stared at her doubtfully.

He fell asleep after they made love, face pressed against her shoulderblades and one arm draped heavily across her waist. Petra smiled, shifting to kiss the side of his face before gingerly climbing out from underneath his arm. Lighting a candle, she pulled out a sheath of paper and began to write a letter to her father, sharing with him the good news and promising to meet with him after the mission was over.

One more month. Quietly Petra pinched the candle out and made her way back into bed, feeling him shift as she curled into the spaces of his body, sighing in her sleep and pulling him closer.

end.


End file.
